Attraction between two person

2013-12-22 22:53

You saw her for the first time, her slender neck, her smooth skin, her graceful silhouette, you felt this sudden ‘pang’ of attraction towards her and wanted to approach her to make a conversation, to make some kind of connection, you sucked up all your courage and made the move.  She eyed you with this cold distant stares, you didn’t give up, still dared asked for her cell number, maybe have the chance to whatsapp or wechat her, she slipped you her business card nonchalantly and then moved on.

You waited a decent grace period of 3 days (ok, sue me, I am impatient) and txtd her, she is still cold, still unapproachable but you insisted on, she eventually relented and told you she is single (+hope), but only just newly singled (uh-oh), she likes “your type - be it butch or femme or something else” (+hope), but she is also bisexual (uh-oh), she likes Japanese food (similar interest +hope) but doesn’t do any form of carbs (uh-oh)… and the list  goes on.

Ok! That’s like my lame attempt of writing like a type of story setting (I can just so hear all of you yelling, STICK TO BLOGGING!) as a backdrop to my idea of “attraction”.  Attraction is a powerful word yet it is also something that comes in stages (as most of us know, right?). 

First Stage – First sight.  “You never get a second chance to make a first impression”

We all have types (yes, that means you too, don’t be snobbish).   Be it a specific outward appearance like dressed butch, andro or femme, or specific body parts (yep, sounds dodgy, but so many couldn’t escape the essential curves that is so specific to women’s body.. yum), be it shoulders (love them), neck (not so much), butts, arms, calves, legs, foot (?) and yes breasts or more appropriately, cleavage (although most lesbians I know are usually not that attracted to breasts, those amazing nurturing boobs are usually considered as bonus).  When such criterions are met, that was when first attraction happened.  Of course in today’s day of age, there are many of us who first knew each other via other portals like whatsapp, wechat, Fridae, Facebook etc.  But this blog is on actually meeting the person.

Second stage – First Communication.  “You are what you say, you exude yourself through communication”

When first sight didn’t give us the desired attraction, all is not loss, there is always a stage 2, which in lesbian world, might be considered a lot more important.  i.e Communication.  While communication doesn’t necessary entail talking with one another verbally (in which case, sharing a common language might help, and having a voice to kill would certainly be helpful), it could, again, be through social medias like whatsapp etc (I am just going to refer all non face-to-face communication as whatsapp etc hereinafter or else you will find me very naggy).  This is a powerful stage to attraction as this is really the stage where two people gotten to know one another.  Without the awkwardness of being judged based on look, we tend to let loose a lot more.  We talked about things more openly, sometimes a bit too openly, but it is via such openness that we can explore similarities or differences.  Sometimes the person could be a total bore, or you could realize you have utmost rapport with this person.  When that happened, first attraction seemed to have gone out the window as looks suddenly didn’t become as important when you felt like you are talking with a soulmate, someone you felt like you had known forever even before you even meet.

Third stage – First Thoughts – “Let her haunt my mind, I am willing”

When this stage happened, you will soon realize that you think of no one else but her.  You felt like you are missing her despite not actually having a relationship with her.  You felt like you enjoyed telling her about your day and more than enjoy listening to hers.  You wanted to know each other better, wanted to be part of her life in a way or another.  This attraction will make you more susceptible to falling for the person than you could even visualize.   When this happened you could either be really happy (should she reciprocate) or very screwed (when she sees you as nothing but friend). 

Fourth Stage – The rose tinted glasses First Sight – “So there is a second chance to make a first impression afterall”

When this stage happened, you felt like you are seeing this person in a completely different light.  You both shared common interest (rock climbing, anyone?), common belief (NO FUR!), common love (walk by the beach and just enjoy the sea breeze at 5am in the morning and await the sunrise), common hate (NO FUR!), etc.. when that mutual rapport is shared between two parties, you will soon realize that appearance became almost secondary but you suddenly see this person in a different setting, you see her as prettier than you initially thought and hotter than you could ever envisage.  You now reached another level of attraction.  You are falling..

Attraction is a powerful tool that stimulates our body chemical reaction, we fall without thinking and let our heart do the talking.  When I spoke to people nowadays, we are still so stagnated on “types”, without knowing that our soulmate, the one and only, the one that shall be there forever is actually the type that you never thought you will end up being with. 

Have a good evening everyone and Happy Winter Solstice.