Bisexuality - The alien species

Ok, a tiny little history about me.  I first discovered about my affinity towards women when I was 23 of age.  I was pretty much a latecomer.  My first inclination started towards a group of lesbians Greek women (my, they were sexy and terribly sexual) and eventually I went into a relationship (my first) with a woman when I was 24.  At that age, I should be rather mature, but sexually I was just a newbie, having never had sex with either men or women, I got extremely panicky when it came to the 'act'.  Turned out, my first girlfriend was a total loser and enjoyed beating me up (she was 9 years older and is one of those butch that refused to be labelled, ahh.. labels, we'll come to that later).   That said, we broke up after a couple of years (she got curious about other girls and started implying open relationship and I couldn't handle it).  After breaking up with her, I was convinced that I must be gay and started researching all kind of articles pertaining to the lifestyles of GLBT.  I guess one could say that I was rather well read at that age. 

However, what I read was certainly unpromising. It told that lesbian relationships generally do not last, and many ended up having open relationships to ensure the longevity of the relationships.   There are still so many of us in the closet and some even stayed in the liquor closets and became abusive (like my ex and the ex after that).  Being gay is already a very difficult path, to have it being chastised constantly just made it a more difficult journey to make. 

Anyhooo... almost 10 years down the line.. I got to know myself a bit better and can comfortably survive in my own skin.  I guess I can call myself 'bisexual' as I find myself attracted to both men and women.  Attraction is not really a determinant as I am sure most women, at one point or another, will be attracted to a man or a woman.  However, I sincerely find both gender to be equally enticing. 

Now lets talk about 'labels', many of us shyed away from labels, you don't want to be defined based on your look, you may look butch, act femme, looked femme act butch, looked andro, loves men etc etc.  And many people shyed away from the label "BISEXUAL".  Being bisexual is actually extremely lonely.  You alienate yourself from the gay counterparts because most of them would instantly thought you wanted the best of both worlds.. whereas heterosexuals (male in this case) would instantly visualized the possibility of a threesome (it's a horrible innuendo yet I suffered from it constantly). 

I am extremely educated (cough) and quite attractive (cough cough) yet I have heterosexual women telling me that they are better than me (inadvertently followed by baby talks, husband talks, funny they never seemed to want to compare education, IQ, EQ, or career when they talked about how much better they are) Needless to say, I lose respect for such women and would never NEVER want to be placed alongside them.

Bisexual people (especially males) seem to be an anomaly in the gay community.  Many still believe that there is no such thing as bisexuality.   I believe that love should transcend the skin that wrap us up.  To love someone unconditionally is all about who the person is on the inside.  Needless to say sex does play a big part in a relationship, but ultimately it's the person, the feeling you have for this person, the emotional connection, the rapport that set the final definition of a relationship. 

I have been through some pleasant and extremely unpleasant relationships, and trust me when I said that it's really not about how a person looks or whether she's a she or he is a he (or he is a she and she is a he), the person inside is what creates the most beautiful relationship.  Please don't alienate someone just because they said they are bisexual, they are as lonely as the next person in this journey or finding love, most of us do not even get "the best of both world" (but for those who does, good for them, but please don't put the stereotype on our sexuality).  Being bisexual also doesn't give you a free get out of jail card should you cheat (cheating is cheating nomatter how you wish to embellish it and it has nothing to do with your sexuality, it has everything to do with YOU). 

That said, I know several bisexuals that actually ended up with someone 'special' in their life. Be it a man or a woman, they are happy.  Ultimately isn't that what we all seeked in our life?  Happiness, fulfillment, contentment.  Fingers crossed that I shall one day meet the special someone, and when that time came, I will embrace the person's heart and soul and not about the equipment(s) that came along with the body.

K